ضرب المثل های انگلیسی (طنز)

سلام دوستان عزیز
برای این بار یک مطلب خیلی جذاب را انتخاب کرده ام

یک معلم کلاس اول ضرب المثل های خیلی معروف را جمع آوری کرده و به هر دانش آموز نیمه اول هر ضرب المثل را داده و از آنها خواسته که آنرا تکمیل کنند. پاسخ ها بسیار خواندنی هستند.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It’s hard to believe these were actually done by grade one kids (6 year-olds), because the last one is classic!

* Strike while the ………insect is close.
* Never underestimate the power of…………ants.
* Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.
* Better to be safe than…………….punch a grade 7 boy.
* If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…….stink in the morning.
* It’s always darkest before…………DaylightSaving Time.
* You can lead a horse to water but………..how?
* No news is…………………………….impossible.
* A miss is as good as a………………….Mr.
* You can’t teach an old dog new…………..maths.
* Love all, trust………………………..me.
* The pen is mightier than the…………….pigs.
* An idle mind is…………………the best way to relax.
* Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.
* Happy the bride who……………gets all the presents.
* A penny saved is……………………….not much.
* Two’s company, three’s…………………the Musketeers.
* Don’t put off till tomorrow what….you put on to go to bed.
* Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and……….you have to blow your nose.
* There are none so blind as………………Stevie Wonder.
* Children should be seen and not………….smacked or grounded.
* If at first you don’t succeed……………get new batteries.
* You get out of something only what you……see in the picture on the box.
* When the blind leadeth the blind……..get out of the way.

تکمیل ضرب المثل ها هم کار خودتان است، با کمی چک کردن دیکشنری می توانید ضرب المثل های اصلی را پیدا کنید.

چند جمله tongue twister بسیار زیبا

سلام
چند جمله که معروف به Tongue twister هستند را برای شما برای این مطلب انتخاب کردم
این جملات برای تکرار کردن بسیار سخت هستند، یک امتحان کنید، برای چند دقیقه ای سرگرم خواهید شد با انگلیسی

Here are some funny and sometimes hard and challenging tongue twisters, give them a try

Sally sells seashells by the seashore.
The shells Sally sells surely won’t sail
But since Sally sells sea shells and not ship sails,
Surely she’ll sell all the shiny sea shells she’s soon shipping on sale.

Uma Mona Newman

There once was a woman
Named Uma Mona Newman
She nimbly made feminine M&Ms

She didn’t like a lot of ‘em
She only liked the minimum
She loved the mini-cinnamon
And the aluminum chrysanthemum.

So Uma Mona Newman
Nimbly made for the millennium
A minimum of feminine
Yummy mini-cinnamon
Chrysanthemum aluminum
M&Ms.
-InnocentEnglish

If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk

These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue .

Betty Botter bought a bit of bitter butter!

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, “Let us fly!”
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Perspicacious Polly Perkins purchased Peter Piper’s pickled products And peddled pretty popular pickles to produce a pretty proper profit!

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It’s slick to stick a lock upon your stock,
Or some stickler who is slicker
Will stick you of your liquor
If you fail to lock your liquor
With a lock!

However, the shot Shott shot shot shot Nott not Shott.

Freshly-fried flying fish.

Greek grapes go great draped on crates of crushed dates.

There was a young fisher named Fischer
Who fished for a fish in a fissure.
The fish with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in;
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fischer.

The epitome of femininity
With double indemnity

-------------------------

خب چطور بودند؟ سخت؟
با کمی تمرین راحت تر می توانید این جملات را تلفظ کنید، تمرین خوبی برای تلفظ و روان شدن است.

یک تست روانشناسی فوق العاده

برای مطلب امروز یک تست روان شناسی بسیار جالب را در نظر گرفته ام برای شما.
این تست روان شناسی بسیار جالب را حتما امتحان کنید. در صورتی که شما به 10 سوال صادقانه جواب بدهید، یک توضیح بسیار دقیق درباره شخصیت خود را دریافت خواهید کرد.

فقط یادتان باشد که سر خودتان کلاه نگذارید.

 Here you go . try this. Below is Dr Phil's test. (Dr. Phil
 scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she was a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find out this stuff. Read on, this is very interesting!

 Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and only takes 2 minutes. Take this test yourself and then let your friends know about it by using the form on the bottom of the page.  Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ...... not in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many major corporations today. It helps give them better insight concerning their employees and prospective hires. It's only 10 simple questions, so keep track of your letter answers to each question.

  1. When do you feel your best?
     a) in the morning
     b) during the afternoon and early evening
     c) late at night

  2. You usually walk...
     a) fairly fast, with long steps
     b) fairly fast, with little steps
     c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
     d) less fast, head down
     e) very slowly

  3. When talking to people you...
     a) stand with your arms folded
     b) have your hands clasped
     c) have one or both your hands on your hips
     d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
     e) play with your ear, touch your chin,
        or smooth your hair

  4. When relaxing, you sit with..
     a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
     b) your legs crossed
     c) your legs stretched out or straight
     d) one leg curled under you

  5. Something is really amusing; you react with...
     a) big appreciative laugh
     b) a laugh, but not a loud one
     c) a quiet chuckle
     d) a sheepish smile

  6. When going to a party or social gathering you...
     a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
     b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for
        someone you know
     c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay
        unnoticed

  7. You're working very hard, concentrating, and then
     are interrupted...  do you:
     a) welcome the break
     b) feel extremely irritated
     c) vary between these two extremes

  8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
     a) Red or orange
     b) black
     c) yellow or light blue
     d) green
     e) dark blue or purple
     f) white
     g) brown or gray

  9. When in bed at night, in those last few moments
     before going to sleep, you are....
     a) stretched out on your back
     b) stretched out face down on your stomach
     c) on your side, slightly curled
     d) with your head on one arm
     e) with your head under the covers

 10. You often dream that you are...
     a) falling
     b) fighting or struggling
     c) searching for something or somebody
     d) flying or floating
     e) usually not dreaming
     f) having pleasant dreams

 POINTS:
     1. A2  B4  C6
     2. A6  B4  C7  D2  E1
     3. A6  B2  C5  D7  E6
     4. A4  B6  C2  D1
     5. A6  B4  C3  D5  E2
     6. A6  B4  C2
     7. A6  B2  C4
     8. A6  B7  C5  D4  E3  F2  G1
     9. A7  B6  C4  D2  E1
   10. A4  B2  C3  D5  E6  F1

 Now add up your total.

توضیح: برای حساب کردن امتیاز خود، به شکل زیر عمل کنید.
وقتی پاسخ های خود را روی یک کاغذ نوشتید، از قسمت Points ارزش آنرا حساب کنید.
برای مثال اگر پاسخ سوال اول را A داده باشید، ارزش آن 2 می باشد که جلوی آن نوشته شده است.
و اگر برای سوال 2 گزینه C را انتخاب کرده اید ارزش 7 را دارید.
به همین ترتیب تا شماره 10 پیش بروید و ارزش ها را با هم جمع کنید.
نکته: اگر ارزش بیشتری داشته باشید دلیل نیست که بهتر باشید.
حالا به قسمت پایین بروید، فقط کافیست به دنبال قسمتی بگردید که امتیاز تست شما را گفته است.

 

 OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

 51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly
 volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in
 your company because of the excitement you radiate.

 41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to your head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

 31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty
 in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

 21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy; very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

 UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

--------------------------------------

خب چطور بود؟
اگر صادقانه به سوالات جواب داده باشید خواهید فهمید که چه شخصیتی دارید.

قسمتی را که با قرمز (در قسمت امتیازها) مشخص کرده ام مربوط به من می باشد. یعنی با پاسخهایی که من دادم آن جواب را گرفتم.
دوستان نزدیکم که این مطلب را می خوانند، اگر آن قسمت را مطالعه کنند، این نکته را صد در صد تایید می کنند.

شما هم اگر دوست داشتید می توانید امتیاز خود را در قسمت نظرات بنویسید تا دیگران با شما آشنا شوند.

در مورد این وبلاگ به دوستانتان هم بگویید (دکمه End روی کیبورد را بزنید و یک دعوتنامه برای دوستانتان بفرستید)

در خبرنامه وبلاگ عضو شوید تا از جدید ترین آپدیت ها (و بعضی اوقات مطالبی که در وبلاگ قرار داده نمی شوند) با خبر شوید.

موفق باشید.